Cultivating a sense of connection to yourself is the key to happiness, but how do you do it? In our Come Back To Yourself series we look at the personal & universal ways we can find connection & calm. Through our ongoing series of conversations with friends around the world, we hope to shed a little light on this mysterious life skill.
Lacy Phillips, To Be Magnetic
Lacy's the creator of To Be Magnetic, a neural manifestation platform with a following in the hundreds of thousands . She epitomizes 'practice what you preach' & is one of the most generous people you'll ever meet. @lacyannephillips @tobemagnetic
When do you feel most powerful?
When I've grounded myself, practiced self-care, and when I've drawn my energy back in. Recently that's meant barefoot walks in my front-yard and Vedic meditation for grounding. I've also been using the cashmere eye-pillow while I carry out neuroplasticity re-programming during Deep Imaginings. And alone time is always my medicine.
When do you feel most vulnerable?
When I open my heart. For me that is loving whatever is coming up for myself. Forgiving whatever I didn’t know in the past that I know now. Giving those growing pains space and love. And also practicing compassion and empathy for where others are coming from. Allowing them space, and loving what is coming up for them. Also, radical honesty. Together this takes me out of my ego personas and into my essence of total vulnerability.
How do you reconnect with yourself?
Journaling, Epson salt baths, travel, morning rituals of burning Ground Ritual Incense and practicing my Kundalini Sadhana. Routines. Freedom from a schedule.
What's your favourite sense & why?
It has usually been taste in the past, but I’m really opening up my heart into the touch portion. Hugging others for longer. Creating space for deeper connection. Something I myself never learned.
Ally Walsh, Canyon Coffee
Ally's the co-founder of our favorite morning cup Canyon Coffee. Her approach to life is open, intuitive & full of love. We feel lucky to call her a friend. @allylwalsh @canyoncoffee
When do you feel most powerful?
I feel powerful when I make something happen or bring something to fruition out of my own will. It could be anything from achieving a goal for the company or traveling some place I have always wanted to visit although, usually that feeling doesn't come until I reflect on what I've accomplished. I also think that feeling powerful comes from saying 'no' to things in order to make time for myself.
When do you feel most vulnerable?
In private, usually! Those real conversations with the people you love most. When your words are rooted in the deepest, strongest feelings and emotions you carry. I think allowing yourself to be vulnerable is what brings the best opportunities for growth. Those times when you do things that don’t feel comfortable, but you know it’s right. I think I’ve had a lot of those moments as we’ve started our business, stepping into new roles and wearing new hats.
How do you reconnect with yourself?
I think I depend a lot on rituals for this. Staying grounded and connected to yourself is a daily thing, even hourly. So any time I make coffee or tea or take a bath I’m giving myself the opportunity to be present. I also create the space for more dedicated silence and reflection to face myself. That usually comes in the form of yoga, a walk on the beach, meditation, or a hike in the mountains.
What's your favorite sense & why?
That’s tough. I’m grateful for all my senses! I think I’d have to go with smell though. Smell is so powerful. It’s amazing how it can instantly bring up such vivid memories, old and new. I love the anticipation smell brings. The smell of food cooking - curries, spices, cookies in the oven, or a summer barbecue. Peaches, because they remind me of my grandparents, who would put them in their wine! The smell of coffee. The smells of the seasons. The smell of the mountains when we hike, the fennel growing in the canyons. Evergreens make me think of my dad. When he had his nurseries, he always smelled like Christmas trees. I love smell because it can bring these memories to me so clearly on a moment’s notice.
Jodi Balfour, Actor
Jodi's an actor with a deep sensitivity & curiosity for life. She inhabits her many worlds with style, wit & grace. Look out for her in The Crown, For All Mankind and Ted Lasso. @jodiannebalfour
When do you feel most powerful?
I rarely feel powerful! (slightly sad admission of truth). But I know how to go in pursuit of that feeling. It includes a long (possibly solo) hike, gaining a good amount of elevation (literal and figurative), taking in the natural beauty and expansiveness around me. I breathe more deeply. I feel very, very awake - powerful and insignificant all at once. And (perhaps the less romantic moments of connecting with my own power) I feel powerful when I prove to myself my own capabilities. When I set my mind to something - do the hard-work it requires - and experience the freedom that comes with showing up for myself and realizing my intentions.
When do you feel most vulnerable?
Alone in the dark! I'm still an absolute victim to my imagination and my monkey-mind. Turn the lights off and I'm suddenly 5 years old again.
How do you reconnect with yourself?
I have a little ritual when I'm at home that's almost fail-proof. Meditate - run - swim in the ocean. When I'm working and feeling strung out, I reconnect with myself by creating an environment that helps me feel light and peaceful. I light some incense, put on some of my favorite music, and cook myself a meal that feels nourishing.
What's your favorite sense & why?
Hearing. Sound unlocks so much for me. Brings me such comfort. Ignites my creativity. Music and people's voices, birds and trees and the ocean and laughter and quiet... listening is the way I perceive so much of my life.
When do you feel most powerful?
“When I make something happen, or bring something to fruition out of my own will.”
How do you reconnect with yourself?
“Cooking is my time. It’s where I’m most present, it’s an act of love.”
Alison Carroll, Wonder Valley
Alison's the co-founder of cult olive oil & homewares brand Wonder Valley. She's also the epitome of 'simple done well,' inspiring everyone she meets with her magnetic warmth. @alaalison @wondervalley
When do you feel most powerful?
When I surprise myself. The most powerful I feel is building our home. There’s so much in that process I never dreamed I could do with my own two hands, skills you just don’t think you can learn.
When do you feel most vulnerable?
When I feel overwhelmed, that there’s too much to do and not enough of me to do it. It’s hard for me to shut off the to-do lists. It may sound trite, but I have to give myself permission to just to be ok that things are a work in progress and permission to take a day off.
How do you reconnect with yourself?
Self care is pretty important, and so are daily routines- each morning I apply the Wonder Valley face oil I make with a little facial massage to release any jaw tension, then try to meditate for 15 minutes, stretching a bit after. Feels great! Also cooking is my time. I like being the matriarch of the house and cook most of our meals. It’s a creative process for me, it’s the antidote to time in front of computers and phones, it’s where I’m most present, it’s an act of love.
What's your favorite sense & why?
Scent - the control it has over a space or memory. and you can’t taste without the sense of scent!
Monroe Alvarez, Photographer
Monroe's a photographer & creative director with a sharp & curious eye. Her heart comes through in everything she does. As well as her photography practice she’s the founder of vintage kids line KoKo MoMo Kids and co-founder of skate collective Grl Swirl. @dontbeafool
When do you feel most powerful?
When I accomplish something that Ive been wanting to do.
When do you feel most vulnerable?
When I'm in bed with a man that I love.
How do you reconnect with yourself?
I have a daily morning routine that I make sure to do because its my time for me. I wake up, meditate, and then sit at coffee and write in my journal.
What's your favourite sense & why?
My sight of course. Photos are my life. Without my vision I wouldn't be able to create what makes me happy - beautiful photos.
Megan Trimble, Zanzan
Megan's the co-founder of our favorite frames Zanzan. She's humble, generously cheerleads other women in business & has a unique eye for timeless sytle. @zanzan_domus
When do you feel most powerful?
When I feel content. When my mind is stilled and calm descends that's void of worry or anxiety. Inner peace is powerful.
When do you feel most vulnerable?
When I swim in the deep blue surf in Australia. My imagination goes wild with what lurks beneath. I love an ocean pool or the bath-like Mediterranean for comfort!
How do you reconnect with yourself?
By doing anything alone. I need it. It could be spent doing something mundane like tidying while I listen to a podcast but as long as I don't have to speak to anyone.
What's your favorite sense & why?
Definitely smell. I love how memory and smell is entwined and can instantly transport one to a different place. I love how a hot night carries the smell of jasmine or frangipanis.
What's your favourite sense & why?
“Definitely smell. I love how memory and smell is entwined and can instantly transport me to a different place. ”
Emily L’Ami, BODHA
If you’re reading this, you probably already know Emily as the co-founder of BODHA. A trained perfumer & aromatherapist, Emily’s the nose behind BODHA’s scents and fragrance projects for various artists & brands.
When do you feel most powerful?
When I’m entirely in the present and not in my thoughts. This happens most often when I’m working on a new scent, in big nature, or spending time with my closest friends.
When do you feel most vulnerable?
When I or someone I love experiences sickness or loss. It’s that time when things feel entirely beyond my control, and there’s nothing I can do but trust.
How do you reconnect with yourself?
Over the years, I’ve found I need a mixture of daily touchstones, like a morning coffee with incense, as well as more significant rituals, like chunks of time away in nature, for a deeper reset.
What's your favorite sense & why?
Smell because it operates beyond our thinking mind and goes straight to our subconscious. This invisible, mysterious sense that we don’t always notice profoundly affects our emotions. The scent community is also a big part of why smell is my favorite sense; they’re the best mix of artistic and nerdy - my favorite combo.
Kerrilynn Pamer, CAP Beauty
Kerrilynn's the founder of the ultimate natural beauty store CAP Beauty. She radiates a enigmatic glow & approaches life & business with genuine curiosity & joy. @kerrilynnpamer @capbeautydaily
When do you feel most powerful?
After an amazing workout.
When do you feel most vulnerable?
When I'm unprepared.
How do you reconnect with yourself?
Kundalini allows me to reconnect deeply. And a day at home by myself always feels good. I'm an introvert at heart.
What's your favourite sense & why?
I love all my senses, the idea of choosing one stresses me out a bit. But I think that taste might be at the top of my list. But sight and smell are exquisite also. Hard choice, personally I'd like to keep them all.
Erin Verinder, Herbalist & Naturopath
Erin's an acclaimed author & herbalist with an international practice. She's a true natural healer - intuitive & compassionate with a deep sense for what someone needs in that moment. @erinlovellverinder
When do you feel most powerful?
When I am in my flow, the space where there is no resistance and only alignment. When I feel really earthed, yet can feel the connection beyond. When I am listening to my own truths, practicing self love and deep care. I feel very powerful when I acknowledge that I am limitless, that those limitations are merely perceived.
When do you feel most vulnerable?
In the quiet alone space, when I am processing emotions that require me to dive deep into them. Vulnerability requires radical self love for me to really embrace it all in its uncomfortable glory. Sitting through the uncomfortable and making it out the other side. I have learnt that so much magic comes from venturing into vulnerability.
How do you reconnect with yourself?
For me it’s so important to keep daily rhythms and rituals, it is my medicine. I practice meditation, I eat nourishing food. I slow down. I get into nature, get my feet on/in the earth. I read thought-feel-idea provoking books, I journal my thoughts and feelings. I light Bodha Ground incense many times a day, it is an unspoken signal of welcoming calm connected energy in my home, and is such a small perfect ritual for me I so deeply love. All of the above but the most important reconnection for me is in the simplicity of closing my eyes and taking slow deep grounding breaths in and out.
What's your favourite sense & why?
Gratitude for them all! I am totally perplexed in the task to pick one. Scent transports me, I perceive touch as the ultimate connector sense, sight is my constant reminder of beauty, sound invokes a depth that is hard to put words to and taste is pure joy for me. The sense beyond, the sixth sense may just be my very favourite as I feel I lean into it more and more, and allow it to guide the way I work and walk in the world. It is such an intrinsic sense that demands for me to grow, trust, heal and allow.
Marta Buda, Artist
Marta's a textile designer and maker known for her incredible woven bags. She has an innate eye for simple beauty that instantly connects with something deeper in us all. @martabuda
When do you feel most powerful?
I feel best when I am motivated, healthy and when my mind is clear.
When do you feel most vulnerable?
I feel vulnerable all the time! I only think of this as a negative thing when I feel emotionally crippled from a bad interaction with somebody. I don't think my sensitivity is always a bad thing but if I am over tired or stressed I can't manage it as well and that can affect the rest of my life.
How do you reconnect with yourself?
Having a family means that to reconnect with myself I have to consciously make an effort to remove myself and take time out. It's not easy to find space to do that so the simplest thing I can do to re-energize is to go for a walk - preferably in nature. Just forcing myself to disconnect and move my body always has such a positive effect on my wellbeing. I also love Yin yoga and the way I feel after it.
What's your favourite sense & why?
This is really hard, I don't know how to choose one! Obviously, scent is one of them - it is so important to our memories, our taste (which is another of my favourite senses!) and can even dictate who or what we are attracted to. It can change and lift your mood immediately - like taste - what would we do if we couldn't taste or smell, how sad that would be.
Tara Sowlaty Lehrer
Tara's a multi-hyphenate creative & co-founder of cult lifestyle platform How You Glow . She literally glows with an infectious positivity and generosity that knows no bounds. @taralehrer
When do you feel most powerful?
When I am thriving in all aspects of my life simultaneously. Finding the balance between it all - work, love, friends, family, and self - is so powerful. There is a definite sweet spot, and that's my favorite place to be.
When do you feel most vulnerable?
When I push myself into new endeavors. I really believe if something is challenging or scary it's worth it, so I really try to relish in the vulnerability. I remind myself that it is a sign of growth.
How do you reconnect with yourself?
I love rituals with myself; they let me reconnect and recharge to my source intuition. I love Bodha's incense and use it all the time in my home. Scent is such an important part of my self-connection routine. After lighting incense, I take time to breathe, meditate, and stretch. It's a total mind-shifter for me and allows me space to connect with myself on a consistent basis.
What's your favorite sense & why?
A magical combination of all the senses. Each enhance the other - sight, smell, taste, & touch make this world a vibrant adventure.
Jody Scott, Editor
Jody's the Health Editor of Australian Vogue & cares deeply about helping people navigate the latest wellness trends. Always chic & always kind she's the epitome of effortless cool. @jodyscott1
When do you feel most powerful?
When I’m running along the clifftops near my home or swimming in the sea. Often guiding my little girls through new places or experiences makes me feel like a lioness. The urge to protect them and answer their questions makes me feel so alert and in the moment.
When do you feel most vulnerable?
When I’m running late or have overcommitted to too many things and am worried about how I will get it all done. I think it’s important to stop and feel vulnerable when unexpected events remind me of the fragility of life and how quickly things can change. But mostly, I spend most of my time pretending I’m invincible.
How do you reconnect with yourself?
Mostly by escaping for some time alone to exercise outdoors. Breathwork and meditation help too - especially when I'm pressed for time. And if I can’t do any of those things I reach for chocolate.
What's your favorite sense & why?
My favorite sensations are all water related so it must be touch. Floating in the sea, that rush you get when you dive through a wave, getting dumped in the surf or plunging into a cold pool. I love feeling the sun on my skin. I’m always hugging or holding hands with my daughters or playing with their hair. I also love playing with clay and making things with my hands. They are all touch-related sensations. Although I do love taste sensations too. And baking smells make me swoon.
Magdalena Gorka, Cinematographer
Magdalena's a star in the world of cinematography, known for her technical skill, craft & passion. She's also an incredible cook. @magdalenagorkadp
When do you feel most powerful?
When I'm wrapping a movie and I feel that I’ve accomplished the goal I made before filming. When people with whom I just created a story on screen are happy with the effect and meaningful connections were made. When I see people being touched by the story we told on screen or being inspired to change their lives for better because of our movie.
When do you feel most vulnerable?
When I don’t sleep. After a long flight.
How do you reconnect with yourself?
I sit in my yard and read magazines. I go on long walks and appreciate the beauty of the place we live in. I cook really elaborate dishes - I love trying new recipes or making Polish dishes that remind me of where I come from.
What's your favorite sense & why?
Taste. I love to cook and by tasting something that I knew when I was a child I transport myself to ‘no worries' land. This brings me back to places I grew up & brings all the good memories. Blackberries and dumplings will always remind me of summer at the country of a thousand lakes - swimming in clear cold water, sailing and building tents.
Meredith Baird, Nucifera
Meredith's the founder of Nucifera aka 'the Balm' our favorite all-natural moisturizer that smells amazing! She's also a raw food chef & the best person when you need a natural wine recommendation. @me_baird @nuciferabody
When do you feel most powerful?
When I feel clear, creative, and inspired.
When do you feel most vulnerable?
When my emotions are heightened for no particular reason, and when my negative or worry wart mind takes over.
How do you reconnect with yourself?
Alone time in the form of a bath or laying in the sun is my favorite. And if I'm not alone, a long walk always works wonders.
What's your favorite sense & why?
Aside from sight, which I think is probably the most useful (debatable), and nothing in the world could replace seeing my daughter - I am absolutely most driven by smell. It is my most keen sense. Scent is connected to so much and says so much about a person, place or experience. The memories that it can bring up is so fascinating. All of my work and passions are connected to scent. Skincare, food, wine, travel ... my family. The list goes on.